You know you are aging when...

1. most of you and your peers are income generating instead of scrounging off parents
2. instead of talking about tutorials, you start talking about career moves, marriage, cars, housing loans
3. your friend asks for the party to start earlier because she has to go off by 9 as she has to be home before her little one sleeps.

so i went to this party to usher in the New Year (in advance...). there were a few groups of people, friends of the host from his uni, host's JC classmates, host's JC Council mates (of which i belong to...), etc etc. indeed all of us have changed in one way or another, some more than others. so it was interesting catching up with people, finding out how they have gotten on with their lives, careers, etc.

well... goodbye 2005, hello 2006...

[ed: i might do a review of 2005 and resolutions for 2006 post tmr. depends...]

Present Crap

the new staff room is like heaven!

why? all cloudy in there?

shit. that's lame.

importance of punctuation, boys and girls:
if fullstop in above sentence is lacking thus: "shit that's lame", then it would connote that the shit was able to walk but now can only hobble.

now that would be some scarry shit.

Ancient Wisdom

story from Cheng's blog about Words and Truth reminded me of 2 different philosophers:

1. Socrates. who was perplexed when the Oracle at Delphi said that he was the wisest man alive, because he felt that he knew nothing. then he realised that that was why indeed he was the wisest man. that he knew that he knew nothing
2. Lao Tzu. who said, "The Way that can be spoken is not the Eternal Way. The Name that can be named is not the Eternal Name." and "Know that you don't know, that is good. Don't know but think you know, that is bad."

do we know anything at all? perhaps about the physical world. and even then we have a set of assumptions and beliefs which cannot be proven to be correct and are thus subject to constant changes. but what about things like morality, courage, justice, wisdom? do we know anything about these things?

perhaps we do. but, like the proverbial elephant, we are unlikely to be able to describe them but might be able to recognise them.

which is actually fine until you have to actually do something just, moral, wise and courageous. and what's worse, if other people's lives, present and future, depend on you doing the right thing. in many of such situations, doing the right thing becomes an art that needs to be honed by constant practise and no small amount of talent rather than an academic pursuit that you can learn by reading books and listening to lectures.

Night Watch

wasn't that great a show. but the book, i found wonderful. not least because it has nothing to do with the show.

the latter Night Watch i am talking about is a Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett. the themes in this one include honour, responsibility, justice woven into a world of politics and revolutions. i like the way Pratchett uses his stories to discuss these otherwise rather airy fairy notions.

interesting things from the book:

1. when talking fails (which often does in the Discworld) you do what needs to be done and let your deeds do the talking.
2. political ideals are often secondary to the smooth running of the economic machinery.
3. the mob is stupid, easily manipulated and hence, if left on its own would tear itself apart.
4. Sam Vimes makes me think of XH.
5. Vetinari is way cool.

other interesting Discworld books i've read include:

1. Small Gods (i think is my favourite)
2. Thief of Time
3. Going Postal
4. Reaper Man

i probably would read more as i lay my hands on them...

A Tip

can be quite dangerous. especially if it is made of metal and pointed at some sensitive part of your anatomy.

could be indicative of much more things hidden beneath the surface which you would do well to avoid

a helpful bit of advice. like the one about not shitting in your own backyard. better do it in your friends'.

Christmas

is a scam. it's a conspiracy by shopping malls, retail outlets, big brand names, large corporations that deal in luxury goods to perpetuate excessive consumerism and thus cheating us of our money to enrich their own coffers.

or it could just be an excuse to get drunk, have wild rampant sex and blame it on the festive cheer.

but of course Christmas is not about all these. Christmas is about... goodwill, sharing the joy with others, friendship and family. to me, it is also about the year coming to an end, taking stock and looking ahead.

in that light, here's wishing everyone:

A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

King Kong

as i watched the show, a few questions kept leaping through my mind.

1. damn hairy lah that gorilla. and we all know that hair traps sweat, lice, a whole variety of bugs. that gorilla must thus stink like hell.
2. there were many T-Rex's, Brontos, Velocireptors (however do you spell that name...). why is there only one King Kong?
3. where did all those indigenous people go? they seemed to have very conveniently and politely disappeared as the plundering ang-moh's came in to rescue the damsel in distress. why? if i were the indigenous people, i would have stayed around and run guerilla warfare on the ang-moh's. would have gotten me a few good meals.
4. how the hell did they lug that gorilla back to New York? as i recall, they were trying desperately to get rid of anything that is not bolted down before they could get that sampan of theirs moving. but a big hairy gorilla's not a problem?
5. why didn't King Kong splatter all over the place when he fell of the Empire State building? from that staggering height, one would expect his guts and brains to be splattered all over, literally painting the town red. and anyone who wants a piece of him would have to scrape him off the sidewalk with a spatula. but no. he remained in one piece.

but it's only just a show. next up, Narnia (or perhaps The Promise...)

Down on the ground

looks like there are at least 2 more people who are going on about the Nguyen's case and the death penalty.

both try to argue based on logic, with one basing a lot of his arguments on books, philosophies, articles and the other through a clinical rebuttal of the points raised.

let's look at it from another point of view. somewhat different.

is life imprisonment of Nguyen more humane? is letting him live, caged up, knowing that his mother and brother are still suffering, missing him pining for him, more humane than a swift death? is it more humane for the mother and brother know that Nguyen is alive, but they cannot see him? why? do those who insist that life imprisonment know how it feels like to be imprisoned for life? for all we know, being imprisoned for life might feel a helluva lot worse than a quick swift death.

what is the difference between the death penalty and life imprisonment (without parole) anyways? as XH puts it, the latter is merely execution by old age. the former is far cheaper. the latter does not have as much shock factor as the former.

considering all these, would it not be more humane to let Nguyen have a swift death, preparing him mentally, assuring him that his family would be taken care of, helping him and his family come to terms with his doom? or do people insist on life imprisonment being more humane based on some philosophical, ideological assumption that we have which is not proven?

(incidentally, i wonder whether the Aussies, with all that self-righteous talk, are doing anything to help Nguyen's brother with all the debts that got Nguyen into trouble in the first place... for that matter, i think the way the reporters mobbed Nguyen's mother and brother was detestable and inhumane. but strangely, no one had any issues with that...)

i believe that a drug trafficker can redeem himself by sacrificing himself for the sake of demonstrating that a nation's rule of law is iron tight, no-nonsense, which would make MNCs more likely to invest in the nation and hence benefit the entire population.

and so, i feel that the death penalty is more than just a punishment. it is a show of a nation's will to do things her way, a demonstration of stability, a symbol of invariance.

now some would challenge me to further explain my previous point. to these people, i'd ask you to speak to constitutional, criminal and corporate lawyers, consultants, politicians and the common man on the street rather than read books.

it is important to get ideas from books. but one would never learn the intricacies of politics, policies and law being cloistered in the ivory tower of academia. one cannot argue purely philosophically, based on what one has read from books, about whether one should do away with this law or implement another policy.

why? because philosophy from books are built upon assumptions. so while these philosophies might be logically consistent in and upon themselves, the basic assumptions might not be an true.

Confucious he says:
"Learn without thinking, one is lost. Think without learning, one dies."

as i have said before, the problem with a lot of us who read philosophy is that we lose touch with reality.

so for all you smart-alecks out there who read all about philosophy, good that you are doing so. but immerse yourself in your society. find out the sentiments on the ground, empathise with the people from various sectors, classes, educational levels. understand, truly understand, the issues and appreciate the complexities of each issue. then do something. contribute. let your hands do the talking.

Equality

some people think that everyone is equal.

i don't believe that. some are born richer, some poorer, some smarter, more well-nourished, some not.

some grow up to be more important, some less. some hold the key to curing diseases, some the secrets to the GUT, some end up only able to sweep the roads, traffick drugs.

considering these differences, can we say that a drug trafficker has an equal right to life than someone as saintly as Mother Theresa? can we say that a person who has robbed and raped should have equal right to freedom as someone who has abided by the law?

no. we cannot.

i do believe that everyone is worthy of respect (some are just more worthy of respect than others). i do believe that everyone has the ability to change. i do believe that a penniless teenager, working on the docks as a coolie can end up as a millionare, contributing immensely to society and posterity. i do believe that everyone is worthy of compassion (though how this compassion should be manifested depends). i do believe in second chances. i do believe that a hardened criminal who repents and goes on to help others is worthy of respect (lang4 zi3 hui2 tou2 jing1 bu4 huan4. guo4 er2 gai3, shan4 muo4 da4 yan1).

but none of these beliefs of mine contradict my belief that not people are just not equal.

Justice

Justice is more than an eye for an eye.

why? just because someone says so?

but i agree that Justice is more than an eye for an eye. but it must include being an eye for an eye. not blindly and indiscriminately dispensed, but directed to the one directly culpable.

so hanging those directly involved in the act of killing of innocents, that is justice while carpet bombing is not an eye for an eye. the latter is nothing more than an act of a cock-eyed, gun slinging cowboy pretending to dish out justice.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

the KPMG report is out. and the government has made its response, highlighting the few points:

1. those who are found to have broken the law would be punished.
2. the government would come up with stricter rules and regulations to ensure to govern charities
3. the problems with NKF started years ago and have been investigated. however, nothing was done because (a) the government gave NKF the benefit of the doubt and trusted them because of the good work of they had done before the troubles arose (b) those in power made it difficult for the auditors to find sufficient information to lead to the full scale investigation that was done this time round.

now of course the NKF saga raises a few interesting issues: governance of IPCs, whether the various agencies enforcing the different regulations regarding IPCs know what one another are doing, etc.

however, what i find most interesting arising from the NKF saga is that it parallels another situation.

NKF, for 25 years, did very well. they were the paramount of the people sector. and the problem with NKF only arose because Durai and his cronies manage to hold absolute power. it gave him the ability to cover things up, made it nigh impossible for his wrongdoings to be uncovered. until he himself made a terrible mistake. but by that time, the damage was done.

which other agency in Singapore holds (almost) absolute power? the PAP.

and for the past 50 years, they have done extremely well. as such, despite the pockets of its detractors, the people would probably be more forgiving of their mistakes and give them the benefit of the doubt, given that they have done well in the past, just as what the people (and the government regulators) have done for NKF.

and the PAP has such a strangle hold on the entire government that they are able, should they choose to, to hide, just as NKF did, any abuses of power and further strenghten their grip such that their position becomes unassailable.

thankfully, i believe that the PAP is still by and large closer in nature to the NKF before Durai take over than to the NKF after Durai took over. i believe that the PAP by and large still has the best intentions of the people at heart, even though they might not be as transparent as we would like them to be.

however, my concern is whether the PAP would change as NKF did. more importantly, what checks and balances are there to prevent the PAP from becoming NKF on a larger scale? what can the people do to ensure that our government is indeed working for the good of us rather than for themselves? would all these checks and balances kick in in time? or would things only come to head when far too damage has been done, just as in the case of NKF?

we have had the government regulating NKF. but, in Singapore, who regulates our Government?

who guards the guardians?

Orange Range

has any one heard of them? a Japanese band which is apparently quite popular.

heard them when i was in KL, being driven around by Cheng. it was one of the CD's that he had playing. and i got hooked on 2 songs:

1. Isshin Denshin
2. Matsuri Denshaku

i've been trying to find satisfactory English translation for these 2 songs. if any of you know Jap, let me know. or if you have heard of the songs before and know what they mean in English, let me know too...

Stellar Camp

so we did a camp for the many stars that are coming in to form our constellation.

we knew that the HCI students look at a lot of the issues from a very academic point of view. most of what they know come from what they read from the newspapers, academic reports and books (if they read these at all... that is). but few have really experienced these issues for themselves, and even fewer can empathise with them.

and that is what we tried to do at the camp.

we were moderately successful. giving them each $10 for three days made them realise the importance and value of money. they fought so hard for that extra $1.50 per person and when they got it, it seemed as if they won the lottery. and that cup of sugarcane juice that they bought with it was so much sweeter. and all these are according to them.

the other activity which they learnt a lot from was the negotiation game. and of course, the quality of the camp depend not so much on the games and/or activities but the bullshitology skills of the facilitators. which i know i was damn good at. so there were some implicit lessons woven into the 3 days.

not only that, this is a start in the development of the friendship. especially with the 5 students from the Madrasah. and most of that was through informal sessions, playing cards, drinking tea, eating dates and idle chit chat. the SMS and emails from some of them that I received were really encouraging.

so hopefully, as they continue through their various projects with the Taman Jurong, they will be able to see and experience for themselves all the various things that we have tried to communicate to them and would be better prepared for these experiences (both to add value to the community and to learn from these experiences) because of the camp we organised for them.

and hopefully, as these group of students go on to win scholarships and become key leaders of our government or businesses, they will remember these lessons learnt. and also me. so that they can offer me my own private jet as a debt of gratitude... okok... i jest.

well... it's still a long way to go. hopefully, will be able to get the Madrasah students to continue building their relationship with the HCI students.

No Justice

there is no justice in this world.

despite me putting most of my time into things other than school work and dedicating less than what i think i should have, i did relatively well. a B average. or was it a B+ average? something like that la.

but i don't think one's performance in NIE is indicative of one's ability to teach. it's more a show of how good a bull-shitter one is. in which case, i seem to be a fairly good one... alas, it doesn't pay any better to do well. just pass can liao...

Human(e)

it seems that Voctir and XH are still engaged in a debate about the death penalty.

Voctir argument stems from the belief that the death penalty is inhumane. but he does not go on to explain why it is inhumane. in some societies, a life for a life is not considered inhumane. it is considered just.

a society's morals are formed by what the majority (or influential bits) of the society think is moral which depends on the society's morals.

Voctir also argues that everyone has the right to life, citing the UN Declaration of Human Rights. in that declaration, everyone has the right to freedom of expression.

so. if i wanted to express my views about a movie in the cinema, while the show is going on, where everyone would rather i shut up so that they can enjoy the movie, i have the right to. right?

or if i am in an exam and think that the paper is shit easy (though the rest of the class might not think so), and i would like to publicly express my views when the exam is going on, i have the right to. right?

every right comes with responsibilities that curtails the expression of that right. and so i say that when one takes another person's life, one forfeits his life to the society to do what it will to his life according to that society's prevailing norms and laws.

the society can then choose to be as harsh as it wants, or as lenient and magnanimous as it wants. however, every choice has its consequences.

i believe and have argued that the death penalty has become a symbol of the iron tight rule of law in Singapore (whether or not the rule of law in Singapore is indeed iron tight and/or just is another matter. what matters is the perception that it is) which has helped the nation attract FDI. so changing that particular law would have to be done carefully and with much wayang to demonstrate that much thought has indeed been given to it.

that is where the activists sometimes fall short as well. they are only particularly interested about that one cause that they are championing, so much so that they fail to see the effects of their efforts, some of which are unintended. while that is alright for the activists, it would be irresponsible for the government to not expect and manage these unintended effects.

Logical Failure

logic will not win you deals in negotiations. they only help.

and human beings are often more emotional than logical. especially when they get into a crowd. there is some truth in Robots and Empire where Giskard says that it is easier to manipulate the emotions of a crowd than that of a person.

to be able to govern means being able to understand how people feel. then, taking the people's emotions as a factor in the equation, logically, clinically, rationally choose the best course of action given the resources and information available.

the problem with a lot of activists are that they are either logical, basing their views on a series of theoretical philosophical views that are seldom grounded in the reality. how many philosophers have really encountered the harsh realities of life? how many have ever really had to bear the weight of responsibility of millions on their shoulders?

and that is the problem with many activists too. some of them look at the issue from their points of view rather than from the points of view of those whom they are trying to help, the groups they are trying to influence, other people in the society that those they are trying to help live in. nor how these various groups would be affected. nor how they feel.

i have been very philosophical, looking for logical arguments to justify this or that. but recently i have had the opportunity to see how policies are made at the top level, their effects on the general population, how the population feels about it and how the government tackles and manipulates these emotions.

and i think that those who would like to seek change in society would do well by immersing themselves within the society that they want to change. these people will have to get their hands dirty rather than trapping themselves in the ivory tower of books and philosophical thought and logical but hypothetical arguments.

ARGH!!!!!

ni nah bu eh... this is such utter rubbish!

and i am sure Mr Chan would define a good teacher as someone who can produce hoards and hoards of students who can score straight A's, even if they have to cheat to do so. who cares whether the student actually do learn, who cares whether the student grows up to be a person of high moral fibre. so long as they come out of schools scoring straight A's that's fine and that's what teachers should be measured by.

how astute of Mr Chan to point that out! but it looks like he has not kept up with the news nor has he bothered to listen to the Minister of Education, that education goes beyond grades. it goes beyond anything that can be measured.

and it seems that Mr Chan is advocating an equality of results. he not scared arh? trying to be a bloody commie in today's day and age? wake up la. we are now talking about equality of opportunities, which is practically impossible. but we are trying our darnedest best.

what took the cake is this:
"Poor students should choose the school nearest their homes, so that they can save on bus fares and spend more time helping with household chores."

how more condescending can he get?! we all know that a good education is a worthwhile investment and we know that an education in one of our premier institutions (from the Rafflesian trinity, the HCI, ACS(I), etc) are more often than not better than in most other schools. so spending the bus fare and the time travelling, studying and being educated in one of the 'elite' schools is a definitely a wise long-term investment. only someone extremely myopic would suggest that poor students should choose the school neares their home just so that they can save on bus fare and spend time helping with household chores.

i was so disappointed with the quality of the Forum pages after reading that letter. how could such a crap letter be published? what the hell were the editor(s) or whoever it is who decides which letter to print thinking about?!

but i was somewhat mollified after reading this. very observant and incisive. someone once commented that an education where students can't do without private tutors is a failure. alas, this is a problem that parents are partially responsible for. more well to do parents would want their kids to do well and hence would find ways which they can use money to put their kids at an advantage. and in Singapore, it means to game the system of exams. this create the demand for private tutors where there is good money. then other parents want to follow, more demand, better money, more tutors, and then students have to continually get better, have better tutors just to stay at the same spot.

and the students who can't afford private tutors lose out. Ms Tao suggests that we should have a system that is less reliant on private tuition. and i agree. though it is hard to implement. in fact, i wonder whether there are actually any practical and feasible way to achieve this. project work? tutors can help in that too. then what?

the other way out is for kind-souls who are competent to offer free tuition to students who can't afford it. retired teachers, professionals, etc. should come out and offer their services pro bono. alas, this depends on the goodness of heart of the suitably competent people. and given the temptation of the rather lucrative pay in private tuition, i don't think many people would come out and offer to tutor children from not so well to do families.

so how?

Amazing Race

i just watched the season finale of the Amazing Race. i found myself rooting for the team of Jocks (the Linz family) and cheering when the Weaver family went from being in first place to being in the last place.

what i liked about the Linz family is that they are so positive. they seemed to be really having fun.

and there are so many things that i hated about the Weaver family. like how they kept praying, asking "the Lord for directions" and how the super obsequious manner in which they used to flatter their taxi-driver.

in any case, i don't think The Amazing Race is that amazing any more. the novelty has wore off...

Level Headed

had a discussion with a friend today. he said that people who are anti-death penalty most probably were never victims of the crimes which warranted the death penalty.

which i guess is true to a certain extent. it is much easier for one to be merciful when one has never suffered the injustices. he asked me to picture myself being the son of a murdered mother, brother of someone who overdosed on heroin and what my stance would be on the death penalty. he then said that most people would be vindictive and those who say otherwise would probably be lying. unless of course they really are victims of these crimes and are really willing to embrace the culprit in full forgiveness. but human beings are vindictive by nature.

look at the Australian public. while they are so quick to condemn Singapore's legal system for meting out the death penalty, they are equally quick to mete out misguided justice of their own on many innocent Middle Eastern members of their own community. and are more than eager to see the Bali bombers hang. such hypocrisy!

but this post is not about hypocrisy. it is about empathy. it is about empathising with different parties, seeing different sides of the argument, seeing different points of view from different points of view and then choosing the option that yields the greatest good/least evil (all nations are built on sins, death and carnage. every country has their roads paved by the bones, walls held together by blood.)

this skill of empathising, of bringing oneself to other people's level, is important in many situations: economic aid (otherwise end up like the IMF fiasco in Latin America and Indonesia), humanitarian aid, policy making, social work, charity and even bringing up a child.

the importance of seeing things at the level of other people in bringing up a child is well illustrated by an article in today's Today, "Are you game enough?", where the writer encourages parents to bring themselves to the level of their children, to see things through their children's eyes.

what is it that a child really needs? to know that the parent is disappointed? upset? worried? or to know that he/she should do well for his/her own sake?

case in point: my brother. he's in Australia, graduated a year ago, still looking for a job. mom was talking to him and kept telling him how worried she is that he's not gotten a job. now knowing bro, that's not going to make him feel any more confident nor motivate him an iota. it will just put undue stress on him and hence being counterproductive.

but mom just doesn't get it. she just doesn't know how to look at things from our point of view, insisting on imposing her values on us. which is generally fine, cos we do hold many similar values. but we also do differ greatly, thus resulting in some very heated disagreements once in a while.

ah well...

Forum

i remember the time when i was in Rome and went walking around the ruins of the Roman Forum. it felt magical. a piece of ancient history right smack in the middle of a modern city. it felt as if one could almost hear the great Roman orators speaking if one strained one's ears hard enough.

but all that remains now are cold stones and the silence of the hustle and bustle of traffic. no more great speeches nor debates.

yet, the spirit of the Roman Forum is reincarnated in many forms today. and one of them is the blogosphere. our political leaders would do well to do a trawl of the blogosphere for honest, no-holds-bar feedback. people like Akikonomu, Garota, Dominic and Takchek have marvellous blogs which give very good analysis of various issues that society faces. not only that, they attract much discussion and debate which the government would do well to listen in on. i know that MOE, for one, would do well reading some of the posts that Takchek, Akikonomu and Dominic have and MFA would potentially benefit by reading some of the posts that Garota has.

in fact, i wonder whether they already have departments in ISD, SID and/or PSD where officers trawl through the blogosphere and writes reports.

Career Moves

friend of mine thought that i was a police. even though i distinctly remember telling her that i'm going to be corrupting the young. perhaps she thinks that is what policemen do...

but that's an interesting thought though, me being a police. i can just imagine myself going:

"Stop thief!!!"

Thief: "Or you will what?"

me: "erm... or I'll start spouting Physics formulae!"

Thief: "ha! i not scared!"

Me: "E=mc^2! F=ma!"

Thief: "Ahh!!! stop it stop it! it's so boring! i can feel mold growing inside my brains!!! stop stop!!! must... fight... bore...dom... zzzzzzz"

at which point, i can introduce the thief to my good friend (a la James Bond in "Die Another Day): "ha! you neferious thief! Meet Gravity!!!"

then handcuff him, be the hero, get medal, get promoted, and spread the use of Physics in Law Enforcement! it will be a revolution to sweep the entire world!

i've always told people that i do law. of a more universal sort. :)

Dates. In. UK.

didn't know that there are actually many different kind of dates around! Ajwa is one. and of the three types (i don't know how to spell the names of the other 2) that i tasted the other day, Ajwa is the most expensive (i think it's Ajwa...), costing up to $80 a kilo! it's pretty nice. but i preferred the first one that i tasted. cos that was the sweetest and the juiciest.

heh... what were you thinking of? that i was talking about dates with ladies? nah... i don't forsee any of that happening for some time to come. though i had the pleasant company of 4 ladies last evening. nothing unusual. just the usual Flab 4 plus Jess and ML (Jeremy's "My Love"...) and of the group last night, there were 4 people whose names started with "J". and we all went to watch Aeon Flux.

it was an alright show. one could, if one was so inclined, start reading into it, thinking of all the themes of morality, sacrifices for the greater good, nature of life, etc etc. but i won't. not least because that would make this post a serious one (and i'm still trying to dumb my blog down...) but also because i am now quite tired. and multi-tasking. and being very bad at it.

anyways. what was it i was saying? oh yar. Aeon Flux. pretty action. pretty actress. but lots of flaws in the story. fortunately, it was brainless enough for all of us, who were pretty sedated after a good meal at Sun with Moon. but didn't get to see pretty waitress (and Jeremy, despite whatever you say, i think that waitress is pretty) much cos we were in a VIP room, thanks to Jasmine's magic... she apparently showed the waitress a smelly face and they let us have the VIP room.

it's wondrous what a smelly face can do for you (and smelly socks can be stuffed into... nvm). but i don't suppose it'll win you many friends. speaking of which, i am reading "Little Red Dot". and one essay is by former President, the late Mr Wee Kim Wee about how to win friends. and food and wine is one of them. i do miss the days of cooking for friends in Bristol.

i've not been cooking for years (about 2?). i wonder whether i still can... i see Jamie Oliver on TV mobile and think, "Gee... he makes it look so simple." and then he speaks with that lisp and that accent, and when he goes scooting around London for groceries, it just brings back memories (not that i've gone scooting for groceries in London...). watching him go around London, i could almost feel the dry, cold London air, the oppressive greyness of the place, the weird sense of solitude. and that inevitably makes me think of Bristol.

i will have to make a trip back to that country. just to visit. and who knows... i might pull a bird there. ha... i'll be so lucky...

shucks. after all this randomness, i'm still stuck. still can't seem to figure out how to continue with this paper. perhaps inspiration will come to me as i sleep.

come come, beauteous sleep. claim me!

Prattle

which i have increasingly less of on my blog. in fact, Jeremy (with his 2 right feet) hinted that my blog's quickly becoming a cure for insomnia. which isn't so bad... if i could somehow work in some subliminal messages into my blog to make people give me money/control over them... or something.

speaking about control over other people, i think if i were to have some super power (have i blogged about this?) it would have to be psychic powers. but then again, i would be able to hear all the silly prattle that goes on in the minds of EVERYONE. i don't know whether i want to. not that i'm afraid of any dark thoughts people might have, but more that i'm scared to find out what numbnuts some people really are.

like those people who brought their young children (they couldn't have been more than 7 or 8) to watch Aeon Flux, with its gratuitous violence and pseudo-nudity. but that's alright. what i can't stand about children in cinemas is their incessant chattering. fortunately, it was pretty late in the evening when i went to watch Aeon Flux, so there were only a few kids (that i saw/heard anyways), but there was that time when we went to watch Exorcism of Emily Rose and there were this group of teenagers. damn they were noisy. B gave them a piece of his mind at the end of the movie.

of course, some people might argue that those teenagers have the fundamental right to the freedom of expression. well... i say that they ought to have had smelly socks (mine would suffice) stuffed into their mouths.

and then there are those people who let their kids run amok in shopping malls, buses and trains. of course it is their fundamental human rights. but i say those parents should either discipline those darn children or keep them on a leash (with socks stuffed into their mouths so the only sound they make is a muffled whimper).

hmm... socks seem to be featuring rather prominently in tonight's post. incidentally, i need new socks. most of my socks are fraying and tearing. which is just as well that i don't wear socks much these days. i much prefer sandals. though i think i might wear out my sandals they way i wear them. in fact, my footwear usually doesn't last very long. must be the way i walk.

well... i just got my pay. with bonus. so... i could get myself some decent socks. and perhaps shoes. or laptop... mine's dying. ah well... let's see how long this old monstrosity of mine can last.

right enough prattling. i'm hungry. time to scour for food. argh. should control. getting fat. KL didn't help...

Crisis!

Singapore is facing a crisis. a fabric crisis. no... not the social fabric (i've decided not to talk about serious political issues for the time being now remember?). but fabric of the textiles sort.

as Cheng pointed out when he was here, girls seem to be considerably less clothed than their KL counterparts, as if they were allergic to textiles or something.

what i don't understand though, is that why, when women dress so scantily and yet get so annoyed when we guys look (ok... stare/gawk) at them. shouldn't they be gladdened that they are attracting attention? is that not their intention for dressing so scantily? to show off for people to appreciate the works of art that they (or rather, some of them) are?

speaking of aesthetic appreciation, i really can't understand the Turner prize. there's this bit of installation art that was supposed to be a statement against the death penalty (seriousness alert!!! seriousness alert!!! seriousness alert!!!). but i refuse to think of it as art! if that can be art, then so is boobs flashing lady?

art, to me, must be pleasing to the eyes... like the cyooot waitresses at Sun with Moon (which, hopefully, i'll be having dinner at later...).

but then again, that's my point of view, my own delusion. if anyone insists on his/her delusions that the turner prize winning piece this year and that piece about the death penalty is art... well... you are well entitled that.

Conflict

it doesn't take much skill to pummel the living shit out of someone (just got to be damn dua jia...). but to coerce him to move in the way you want him to, gently introduce his skull to the ground and persuade him to submit without injuring him (too much), that takes much skill...

my favourite Aikido story by far:

this gaijin (brit, american, whatever, you choose...) just got his shodan in Tokyo. he was riding the train somewhere. in the same carriage was an old geezer (the sort that has all the signs of ancient wisdom etched into his face), a drunkard and a pregnant lady. the drunkard was being unruly and started to throw insults at the pregnant lady. so this gaijin thought, 'yar, just give me a reason. i've just gotten my shodan. let me make some good use of it and break you in 2.'

and true enough, the drunkard got more and more abusive and started getting physical with the pregnant lady. at this point, the gaijin wanted to get up and show off his powerful Aikido. the wizened old man stopped him before he could. then the old man looked at the drunkard and started talking to the drunkard, asking him why he was doing what he was doing.

the drunkard, of course, told the old man to piss off and mind his own business. but the old man persisted. the drunkard started shouting something about how the world's unfair, how he lost his job, etc. and before long, the drunkard broke down and was reduced to nothing more than a babbling baby at the lap of the old man. apparently, the drunkard had lost his job and his wife ran away with someone else. and so the old man comforted the drunkard and showing empathy.
the gaijin realised that that was Aikido (the way of Harmony) at its highest level.

Sun Tzu, he say, "to fight a hundred battles and win a hundred battles is not the way of the best strategist. the way of the best strategist is to win without even having to fight."

it is of course difficult when you try that with people's minds/beliefs/opinions. it takes greater skill to manipulate people's thoughts, beliefs and emotions than to manipulate their bodies.

Awakening

from a conversation over dinner with a friend:
"having her by my side makes it hard...

to get out of bed."

but i'm sure my friend will have no problems getting up... ;)

same friend commented that my blog is getting too serious with all the politics/social issues. true true. must have more frivolous posts. :)

KL

has so many highways! i was amazed at how Cheng managed to navigate all of them. i would have been lost (which isn't saying much, considering i got lost in Suntec once...)

has so many super big shopping malls. went to Sunway Pyramid and 1 Utama. i wonder how those shops in the malls manage to survive.

has GINORMOUS (gigantic + enormous) houses. saw one near Cheng's place on a hill with a damn good view of KL city centre and another one, pretentiously named 'Camelot' (i kid you not, it was on engraved onto the wall. and the house was a poor parody of a castle.) what took the cake were the houses at Tropicana. it was a super exclusive housing estate, with its very own country club (complete with golf cours, club house, swimming pool, etc). and some of the houses there were... well... if you've seen Ho Kwon Ping's house... yar. pretty much like that.

has the most divine durian chocolate cake at this restaurant called Stan's Assam and Garam in Bangsar One. far better than Double O's.

i was so un-tourist. did not see any tourist attractions there. did not even step into Petronas Towers. but did go to Putrajaya (each lamp-post there costs RM10000 and the PMO building looks like a castle.) and Klang (great Bak-Kut Teh). also learnt a lot about the way Malaysians do business as well as how young working adults who are well-off enough to have studied overseas live.

it was a good trip :)

Democracy

how good is democracy as a way of government? does democracy necessarily mean government by referrendum? or government by debate? India tried the former and had its development stalled for years. Japan's recovery was tripped up because of democratic politicking. and where nations such as Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan and Indonesia democratically elected left leaning governments, the world's greates 'advocate' of democracy decided to instigate coups and put in puppets, resulting in much suffering and chaos. so if even the world's greatest advocate of democracy have such little regards for democracy, can the world really place so much faith in it?

another reason why i think the former is not viable: the truth is rarely democratic. it is, or it is not. for example, say we take a rabbit into a room of 101 people. and we ask the people to, without further inspection of the rabbit, say whether the rabbit is male or female. does it matter if 51 people think that the rabbit is male (or female)? of course not.

so now in every situation, every matter of governance, there must be a most optimum course of action. the problem is that, most of the time, we don't know what that is. so we think, "well... one person might be wrong. let's be democratic and ask everyone's opinions. and then we take the most popular one." is it really wise to do so? for the majority can be wrong. how else could Jee-Double-U Bush get elected, not once, but twice? or how else would schools in Kansas have to teach Creationism as a viable alternative to evolution? we therefore delegate to people who are specially trained for the task of governance (just as we delegate the task of surgery to people who have gone through intensive training) and we apprise their performance once every so often, based on certain standards.

i reckon it's all about degrees and extents. anything taken to extremes are detrimental. the debate about democracy should be about what extent of involvement of the people and what extent of control should the people cede to the government. it should also be about when and under what conditions more power can be given to the government, and when the people should wield more power.

of course, based on what i've just said here, there might be some problems with Singapore's system of governance. the balance of power between the people and the government cannot be tuned rapidly enough to suit the time, often being set too heavily on the side of the government. this causes a whole set of problems. also, i feel that the 'apprisal system' will only take effect when things go too far wrong.

Of Mules and Man

XH had an interesting post which i assume is a response to Voctir's post, where XH shares a similar expressed in this post of mine: that a person who is willing to forsake his morality to traffick drugs have also forsaken his/her humanity.

but i also believe that such a person can redeem himself/herself, which the death penalty does not allow this person to.

having said that, it's all about choices isn't it? a mule choose to gamble with his/her life, shouldn't he/she bear the consequences of that choice?

today's Today had an interesting perspective from Paul Seehan who writes for the Sydney Morning Herald who questioned the value that the Australian legal system places on human lives (cf. the relatively light sentances given to various perpertrators of crimes which led to deaths of people).

Voctir also claims that we are 'sure what is bad, evil and undesirable'. alas, that might not be the case. while there might be a right and wrong specific to the context and situation, most people won't be able to know which is which, right or wrong.

i agree with his view that the world is in a sorry state. and that it is 'better to eliminate and learn from our past mistakes'. alas, politics and governance is not, as yet, a scientific process.

which poses some other questions: is it possible for us to apply scientific method to governance, so that one day, we can manipulate human minds and societies as we do levers and electrons? Asimov, in his Foundation series, thought that it might be possible. could this be the case of science fiction being portentous?

Shephard

a shephard keeps his sheep safe because he wants the wool, milk and (eventually) the meat of the sheep (by slaughtering them...).

Jesus Christ is the shephard of Man.

oh God...

Getting things done

while i don't profess to be an expert in issues of governance, there is one thing i know for sure. it is messy, difficult and complex.

if you are a parent, you might know how difficult it is to balance the demands of one child and the other, of your own need for space and the family's need to spend time together.

consequently, a society has to balance all the competing demands: dog lovers who want to allow their dogs to roam free and Muslims who might not be comfortable with that, cat lovers who feed strays and those who would rather see all the strays culled, tough stance on drug traffickers and human rights issues, etc etc.

the wealth of Europe and US was stimulated greatly by the Atlantic System of trade. it hastened the economic development of the world. yet, that was built upon the sufferings of African slaves. if we had applied the "Western" notion of human rights then, the world would not have developed as rapidly as it has, and we would most probably not have much of the modern amenities that we so enjoy now.

Australia developed so rapidly yet how many aborigines have to die for the modern Australian society to be established? and have the aborigines been adequately compensated?

and even today. we talk about human rights. yet, Europe is forcing to let hundreds of millions of people live in abject poverty in the developing countries by refusing to do away with their farm subsidies. yet, what are the ramifications if Europe really did away with their farm subsidies?

yet, we have to act. we have to do something. so each nation chooses a certain value system and goes from there. these value systems change with time. but slowly. that is not to say that the policies and decisions made are cast in stone.

something i've learnt in the recent months about getting the government (or anyone for that matter) to change is to give them a 'yes-able' recommendation.

start by finding out what value systems guide their decisions, what it is that they want to achieve. then convince them that you want to achieve the same and that based on their value system, your recommendation is more effective and efficient at achieving what they want to achieve. this then gives common ground for discussion and perhaps resulting in decisions moving in the direction you desire.

take the death penalty for drug traffickers for example. arguing to change it based on human rights will not work. because the Singaporean government has chosen to be hardhearted. and we all know that the government prides itself on being economically rational (where economy extends not only materially, but also political economy). so if anyone wants to change the death penalty for drug traffickers (or the death penalty at all), convince the government that there is a economic (materially and politically) way of deterring these crimes without resorting to the death penalty.

i don't know how it can be done. but, i think, is a better starting point than just harping on human rights (though one could still be motivated by concerns of human rights in pursuing the course of action that i suggested).

it's not going to be easy. but nothing worth doing is easy. so instead of just whining about it, instead of barking up the right tree, take calculated steps to make changes.

of course, one might have to spend your entire life on it, might have to give up much material luxuries (i.e. live really simply) and run the risk of failure. but if one really cares enough about it, then is it not all worth it? or would one rather just sit there in the lap of luxury while decrying the very system that allows you to have the ability to do so?

are you ready to make the necessary sacrifices for what we feel is right?

Humanity

what is humanity? if you had to kill billions of lives so that humanity can continue? what will be the right thing to do?

if it really comes down to having to make that judgement, will you have it in you to make that judgement? or will you let humanity die out because you refuse to take the lives of billions of individuals?

what would you do?

Free Will

Assumption:
for every cause there is an effect and conversely, every effect has a prior cause.

Corollary:
it then follows that there is no such thing as free will. everything that happens was meant to happen from the moment the Time started.

ergo, if assumption is true, then free will does not exist. only the delusion of that we have free will exists.

Robots and Empire

the title of the book i'm reading now. it's by Isaac Asimov.

i never thought that an Asimov book will make me tear, to bring that lump of grief rising in the throat. but the chapter that i just read did.

the chapter that i just read was about this person, Elijah, whose wish before he died was to see the one sentient being that mattered most to him, a robot, R. Daneel Olivaw. he wanted to do it because he had to assure Daneel that there was nothing Daneel could do to prevent his death. this is necessary because of the Three Laws of Robotics. and even then, Daneel was greatly affected by his own inability to prevent the death of Elijah, not only because he was human, but also because he was the only human to have treated Daneel as a human and also because Elijah was a friend.

Elijah used the following in his attempt to convince Daneel that the death of his physical body is inconsequential:

"My death, Daneel is not important. No individual death among human beings is important. Someone who dies leaves his work behind, and that does not entirely die. It never entirely dies as long as humanity exists. The work of each individual contributes to a totality, and so becomes an undying part of the totality. That totality of human lives, past and present - and to come - forms a tapestry that has been in existence now for many tens of thousands of years and has been growing more elaborate, and on the whole, more beautiful in all that time. An individual life is one thread in the tapestry and what is one thread compared to the whole?"

which was my point of Tsal Nam's Story (perhaps a self-critique of my own work sometime later...). what is one life compared to all of humanity?

another bit that i loved of the book, a speech by Gladia, who is 235 years old, addressing a group of humans who can never aspire to reach even half her age:

" 'Measure the length of life by events and deeds, accomplishments and excitements, and I am a child, younger than any of you. The large number of my years have served merely to bore and weary me; the smaller number of yours to enrich and excite you. So tell me again, Madam Lambid, how old are you?'

Lambid smiled, 'Fifty-four good years, Madam Gladia.' "

is a life wasted better than a noble death?

back to the book.