Level Headed

had a discussion with a friend today. he said that people who are anti-death penalty most probably were never victims of the crimes which warranted the death penalty.

which i guess is true to a certain extent. it is much easier for one to be merciful when one has never suffered the injustices. he asked me to picture myself being the son of a murdered mother, brother of someone who overdosed on heroin and what my stance would be on the death penalty. he then said that most people would be vindictive and those who say otherwise would probably be lying. unless of course they really are victims of these crimes and are really willing to embrace the culprit in full forgiveness. but human beings are vindictive by nature.

look at the Australian public. while they are so quick to condemn Singapore's legal system for meting out the death penalty, they are equally quick to mete out misguided justice of their own on many innocent Middle Eastern members of their own community. and are more than eager to see the Bali bombers hang. such hypocrisy!

but this post is not about hypocrisy. it is about empathy. it is about empathising with different parties, seeing different sides of the argument, seeing different points of view from different points of view and then choosing the option that yields the greatest good/least evil (all nations are built on sins, death and carnage. every country has their roads paved by the bones, walls held together by blood.)

this skill of empathising, of bringing oneself to other people's level, is important in many situations: economic aid (otherwise end up like the IMF fiasco in Latin America and Indonesia), humanitarian aid, policy making, social work, charity and even bringing up a child.

the importance of seeing things at the level of other people in bringing up a child is well illustrated by an article in today's Today, "Are you game enough?", where the writer encourages parents to bring themselves to the level of their children, to see things through their children's eyes.

what is it that a child really needs? to know that the parent is disappointed? upset? worried? or to know that he/she should do well for his/her own sake?

case in point: my brother. he's in Australia, graduated a year ago, still looking for a job. mom was talking to him and kept telling him how worried she is that he's not gotten a job. now knowing bro, that's not going to make him feel any more confident nor motivate him an iota. it will just put undue stress on him and hence being counterproductive.

but mom just doesn't get it. she just doesn't know how to look at things from our point of view, insisting on imposing her values on us. which is generally fine, cos we do hold many similar values. but we also do differ greatly, thus resulting in some very heated disagreements once in a while.

ah well...