Screwtape Letters

is the title of a book by C.S. Lewis which i just finished. i found it quite an interesting and entertaining read. it gives a very good discussion of good and evil, of human experiences juxtaposed with the divine on one hand and the infernal on the other.

an excerpt from the book which i like a lot:
And nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiousities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in the drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinths of reveries that have not even lust nor ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off... Indeed, the safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

What not to call your son

Fook Yew.

which translates to "Fu2 Yao4" (i.e. Fortune and Glory), which is a perfectly good Chinese name. alas...

imagine if it was Lee Fook Yew instead...

Barking up the right Tree

Tapas Tree that is. spent a wonderful evening with B. there. it's a Spanish restaurant at Clarke Quay.

we ordered toasted bread with pesto (simple, delicate, beautiful) and 3 tapas: baby octopus (slightly on the salty side, but otherwise ok...), chicken sauteed with garlic and paprika (another simple and elegant dish) and creamy sole fish (thick, rich but not overly so. and there were mushrooms in them!). and both of us had a caipirinha (i think that's how it's spelt), which is a marvellous brazillian cocktail with brazillian rum (whose brazillian name i don't know how to spell...), brown sugar, lime and crushed ice...

there was life music which was absolutely divine. and conversation was great and free flowing (except for the times when B. got carried away in the floating melody of the live band...).

most importantly... B. enjoyed the evening. the walk after that was... very soothing. a great way to end the evening and the week.

i'm fortunate to have good friends like B.

p.s. B. in this post does not refer to BOng. though BOng's a good friend too...

What the FAQ

the question that most of my students most frequently ask me the first time they meet me is:

"Cher, how tall are you har?"

for those of you who are not familiar with the lingo of Singaporean students, 'cher' does not refer to the singer, Cher (pronounced 'Share'), it is the second half of 'teacher' and a reflection of linguistic laziness on the part of the students.

Adjustments

that i have to make because of my job:

1. wake up damn blardy early
2. thus should sleep early too... but that's not really happening
3. wearing long sleeve shirts and long trousers
4. wearing proper work shoes (as opposed to sandals)
5. not having as much time to read other people's blogs
6. not having as much time to blog

grr...

Angels and Devils

pretty much describes my students. they can be such angels. but they can be such devils too.

had to scold them yesterday. and it was only my third day into practicum. but at least they behaved themselves somewhat after i scolded them. i've set them a target of being ready for lessons within 30s of me stepping into the classroom. they've told me that it's not possible, considering that they used to take 1 period to settle down. we'll see how well things go.

thing about my students are... well... i believe that they are all good kids. they may do stupid things, but they are good kids nonetheless. and i believe that i can make a difference in their lives and make them even better.

well... i start teaching content next week... let's see how things go...

Sadness

i don't even really know him! and i only got to know that little bit about him recently. what i do know about him, i only know through second, third hand accoutns, through what i read and what i see on tv.

yet... this morning, as i read that article in the paper, i felt a great sense of sadness.

Mr S. Rajaratnam, one of the founding fathers of Singapore, has passed away. but he has left his mark on the . as that article said, so long as Singapore exists, so long as Singaporean school children recite the pledge each morning, Mr Rajaratnam's legacy lives on.

watching that 'special' on Mr Rajaratnam's life, seeing the way he speaks, hearing the passion in his voice, learning about what he has done for Singapore has left me in utter awe and respect for him and his peers. Singapore was a miracle created from thin air by Mr Rajaratnam, Dr Toh Chin Chye, Dr Goh Keng Swee and LKY. as each one of them passes on, it reminds us of how long we have come, how hard our forefathers had to fight to give us all that we have today. do we have that same resilience, that same passion, the same ability to rise to the challenge of bringing Singapore to greater peaks?

i wonder whether school children today know the significance of the pledge they recite every day, whether they know the significance of why the flags are flying at half masts today, whether they are ready to fulfill the pledge that they take everyday.

our forefathers have done their job. it is now our turn to do ours, to not let them down. we must let them know that they have left Singapore in good hands, that they can leave peacefully, fully assured that their legacy will live on.

What a rush

practicum starting tmr. should sleep soon. but want to squeeze one blog in before that happens.

watched this documentary just now, "Einstein's Big Idea". it's about how Einstein came up with his most famous equation linking energy to matter.

there was this bit about how Maxwell managed to prove Faraday's idea that electricity and magnetism are just different sides of essentially the same thing and that light is but a form of electromagnetic wave.

one particular scene stood out. the young Maxwell showed the old Faraday a paper Maxwell just published. and told Faraday that he showed that electricity induces magnetism which induces electricity, hence the two forms a pulsating wave. and how he (Maxwell) showed, mathematically, that this wave travels at the speed of light. this was something which Faraday has been trying to prove for years and years. it was something that he knew to be right but was not able to prove. and now, Faraday's good friend and protegé (of sorts) Maxwell has vindicated him. this look of sublime joy washing across Faraday's face (or rather, the person acting as Faraday). and at that point, i thought to myself... to have been the person to see such a fundamental truth before anyone else, how great a feeling that must be! and how great the satisfaction and joy it must be to have been proven right! to know that what one believes in for one's entire life is right... Faraday must have died a happy man.

and the actor captured it really well... the change of expression was so subtle. so sublime. eyes teared, but only ever so slightly. a gentle smile breaking ever so slowly. eyes lost, as if peering into the heart of the universe. at that moment, i felt that the joy that Archimedes must have felt, the elation which every great scientist must have experienced when they know that they have peeled away another layer and gotten closer to the truths of the cosmos.

Chin Gay

nono... nothing about Brokeback Mountain. (i'm still deliberating whether i want to watch it... i have nothing against homosexuals... just that some things are not meant to go some places... if you know what i mean...)

i meant the Chingay procession. as some of you might know, since some time ago (last year?) Chingay started moving into the 'heartlands' to. and it got to Taman Jurong today. managed to, with a bit of social camouflage, get seats. better yet, got the 'grand stand' VIP seats. right behind the GOH... which made all the difference. seating comfortably really made the whole experience more enjoyable. good company of N. and V. helped too.

and then there were fireworks. which reminded me of Chinese New Year's eve... and watching fireworks in Chinatown, being squashed amidst the crowd, the smells, the feel of body against body.

sigh.

Result of sleep deprivation

is lameness like the following:
where are you going?

i'm going to bangkok.

i asked where you are going, not what you are going to do.

____________________________________________

man... that was damn lame. grr... sleep sleep... i need sleeeeeep.

actually... i'm in a very weird mood right now. a combination of many different things.

sigh.

Biblical Taichi

JIS said that i was biblical. i didn't quite understand what she meant so i asked her in what ways were i biblical. her response:
"(cos you have) pristinely good heart, idealistic, etc etc"

another testament to my Oscar deserving acting talents.

in other news, i visited the lady i mentioned in my previous post at her temporary place today. found out more details. one of the FSC's already has a social worker on her case. and still she is in quite a bad situation. that means her situation is really quite serious. now what is more serious is that she has a daughter, 14, who has a form for her to apply for admission into Assumption Vocational Institute. but the lady doesn't want the daughter to enter AVI, saying, "wait go school, no money to travel, no money to makan, no money to pay school fees. go school for what?"

i am personally more concerned about that. because if the daughter enters AVI, picks up some qualifications, she would at least have some chance of breaking the poverty cycle. if not, she will inherit the poverty.

i am going to call the social worker on this case and see what we can do, specifically for the daughter. if that still doesn't work, might have to try something a little bit more drastic.

such things can be so emotionally draining.

like yesterday. spent 1.5 hours doing 'taichi'. didn't help that the other parties involved were very emotional. but that whole experience raised a few issues:

1. does one MP's letter carry more weight than another? if it is an education issue, do the residents of Taman Jurong have an added advantage that their MP happens to be the Minister? does a petition letter written by Teck Ghee's MP carry more weight than one written by Potong Pasir's MP? or does it not matter which MP writes the letter? can we honestly trust that regardless of which MP writes the letter, what matters is the merit of the case and how the case is being put forth?
2. should a Singaporean citizen have appeal directly to a Minister for assistance regarding matters within his ministry, regardless of electoral boundaries? i.e. if i stay in Ayer Rajah, should i be allowed to go see Mah Bow Tan to sort out my problems with HDB? if not, why not? am i not a Singaporean citizen? why don't i have the right to see my own minister?

i have my own answers to these questions. but i wasn't able to convince those 2 people last evening. not least because they were, in my opinion, not listening to reason and bordering on egoistical selfishness. that is not to say that i do not understand why they behave that way. most people would.

i am tired. need to rest. CSI Miami time.

Unexpected encounter

so i was on my way to school. as i approached the bus stop, this rotund Malay lady accosted me and asked if i could speak Malay. i told her that i couldn't. then she started speaking in very simple and inaccurate English, asking me whether i know where she can go for help.

it turns out that this lady is what would be known as a hardship case. this is what i gathered from what she told me:

her husband, who was a drug addict, has just passed away. she has 3 children: 1 son in prison, another son is 17, mute and not doing anything and the youngest is a daughter who is schooling.

she has, apparently, no money. and she is medically unfit to work because she has just undergone an operation.

she is receiving aid via the RUAS (Rent and Utilities Assistance Scheme. this scheme is meant for people who are renting a flat from HDB. the scheme helps pay for the rent as well as the service and conservancy charges of the town council. the scheme also gives the recepient some vouchers to pay utilities bills) managed by the CDCs. however, this lady claims that she does not have money even to buy food for her children and herself.

it also turns out that this lady and her family actually stays in Bukit Merah. so what is she doing where i stay? the reason, i found out, was that her eldest son borrowed money from loansharks who has been harrassing her family and her, forcing her to move to stay with her late husband's friend.

i tried to think of a way to help her. the only ways i can think of are:

• long term financial assistance by the CDC
• one of the Family Service Centers to help

however, i realised that neither ways are going to be all that possible and effective. there was moment in my conversation with her when i almost felt that her situation is so hopeless that the only thing this lady could do was to... die.

but i did not tell her that of course. i took down her address (she doesn't have a telephone) and told her that i would look for her when i can think of ways which she can find help.

the whole incident perturbed me for a long time. not least because this lady is not the first nor the last case of this sort that i have seen. and i have come to understand that the roots of the problem are many and deep rooted. i also understand why the government's hands are tied when it comes to people like this lady. what, then, can be done to help this lady (and others like her) solve their problems completely (rather than treat the symptoms)?

i don't have any answers now. if anyone of my dear readers do, please share.

Mission Impossible?

had to write a silly essay about what it takes for teachers to accomplish the stated missions of the Singaporean Education Service.

the following is what i actually intended to write (the version that i submitted is much watered down...):
I was shocked when I first read the mission statement of the Singapore Education Service. I realized that when I decided to be a teacher, I have agreed to become a miracle worker, having to do 48 hours worth of work in a single day. How can any teacher reading that mission statement not be daunted by the enormity of the Herculean task which he has to perform?

My major disagreement with the mission statement is that it seems to signal to parents and the wider society that they only need to play a passive and supporting role in the education of the next generation. On the contrary, I feel that parents and the wider society should play an equally, if not more, active and significant role in the education of our next generation as teachers do.

However, the teacher certainly does play a significant role in the education of our next generation. In order for teachers to fulfill that role and achieve the stated mission of education, in addition to an act of God, teachers would most definitely require the correct attitude. Here, I am reminded of the main character in the show GTO, Onizuka. In the show, Onizuka’s sole aim in life is to be a teacher who gives his students the opportunity for them to develop their own interests and talents to their fullest potential and help them find their place in the world. He does so with utter disregard for his own wellbeing, even to the extent of going against higher authority and bureaucracy. Onizuka is not an expert in what he teaches nor does he know much about the professional world. But his passion for teaching eventually won his students, the parents and the school administration over.

One could easily dismiss the happy ending in GTO as an unrealistic situation that would never happen. However, I believe that it highlights the very important point that teaching is not just any other profession. It is a calling.

If teaching is indeed one’s calling, then one would naturally have the passion that would enable one to rise up to the many challenges one would face as a teacher. It would drive one to continually improve oneself, equipping oneself with all the necessary skills and required knowledge. Such passion would allow one to squeeze every iota of productivity out of every second without begrudging a single moment of it.

I believe that this passion for education is infections and some would rub off on the students, parents, school administration and even the community that the teacher is in contact with. This would serve to align all the various stakeholders to stated mission of education.

In conclusion, it is only with great passion for teaching can one rise up to the challenge of becoming that miracle worker and achieving all the stated mission of the Singaporean education service. If one does not have the passion, then not only would one be unable to achieve the stated mission, one might find one’s lifespan significantly shortened by the rigors and demands of the profession.

When cartoons are not funny

well... i'm sure we have heard much about the troubles that arose due to the caricatures of the Prophet in the European press. someone wrote that in actual fact, there have been earlier depications of the Prophet.

yes... it is fine and well that there have been depictations of the Prophet. but there are certain sects (perhaps now more mainstream sects) who feel that pictures of the Prophet is blasphemous. should the Danish press not be sensitive to those group of people?

also, even if there have been depictations of the Prophet, i don't think they showed him in the negative light that those caricatures did. i feel that the caricatures seem to imply that Islam is a dangerous religion, which exalts its followers to war and blow people up. i feel that the Muslims have every right to be outraged at that.

now of course we could say that the Muslims who took umbrage to the caricatures simply have no sense of humour and thus it is thus their fault that they feel offended. if that is the case, then i can call anyone a "motherfucking bastard" and he/she should not have the right to do anything to me. is that reasonable?

of course, we can defend the right to freedom of expression of the Danish press. of course they are free to say and print whatever they want. in that case, then the Muslims are free to express their anger by burning embassies, protesting, boycotting, etc.

Man is born free but is everywhere in chains. our rights stop at another person's nose. everyone is free to express his/her views, but should accept responsibility for what he/she says. in this case, i feel strongly that it was irresponsible for the Danish paper to publish those caricatures and even more irresponsible of the other papers in the rest of Europe to fan the already raging fires.

to be fair, i think it is highly irresponsible for the sectors of the Muslim which reacted violently. though... i wonder, given the superiority complex of the 'West', whether there were other ways of making the 'West' realise that they can't expect everyone to accept their views.

Walking

i like to walk. it calms me down, gives me time to think, to talk to myself.

sometimes i just let my feet guide me. only instructing them to walk in a general direction.

it is interesting where they bring me...

but always, i am reminded of what Tolkien wrote at the end of "The Hobbit":

Road goes ever ever on,

Under cloud and under star.

Yet feet that wandering have gone,

Turn at last to home afar.

Home.

HOpes and MEmories.

It could happen...

i haven't had a dump for weeks!

no shit!

yar... precisely...