Winning Formula

the Gahmen say that F1 makes sense. because there are a lot of spin-off benefits beyond the dollars and cents. but what of the non-monetary costs then? if we take those into account, F1 still a sure win formula for Singapore?

NPT

something i learnt at a course that i attended today.

NPT (the person conducting a course): what does a teacher do?

us: produce results, nurture students, care and concern...

NPT: yes yes... but not all teachers do all of those. but there is something that all teachers do.

us: ???

NPT: vomit blood.

NPT is still his usual self. but now... 10 years later, the context of our meeting is so much more different. 10 years. has it been that long?

definitely learnt a lot from him today (as i have 10 years ago). today was about coaching and his GROW ME model. he has an amazing way of engaging with the audience. something which i am trying to learn and develop.

there's something he said that struck me. something which i've known for a while, but not articulated. coaching is about 2 things, intrinsic motivation and relationship. it's a battle for the hearts and the minds. win the heart and you can easily take the mind. to win the heart, establish that precious, special relationship with the learner. then it'll be possible to evoke intrinsic motivaion in the learner. i think that that is exactly what i try to do, difficult as it may be. reason? cos i've seen the power of a positive coach-learner relationship (of course, i didn't know these terms then, when i first witnessed that relationship). it was over this weekend that i got the latest reminder of the power of such relationships. how it can touch people's hearts and impact their lives.

my job is difficult. there are things that i hate and dread to do. but it has its moments that keep me going. those moments where i see my students' eyes light up (like fresh fish as NPT puts it...).

my dear students, be like fresh fish, keep that sparkle in your eyes burning bright.

(note: NPT is not non-proliferation treaty... it's the name of someone whom i used to and always will call 老师)

Raging Rampage

the rage is tempting me to go on a rampage.

roar!

back to marking.

grr....

Cougars, Fight On.

i watched the ruggers play in the plate semi-finals today.

i know close to nothing about Rugby.

i am not in charge of Rugby.

but what brought me there to support them today was the fact that i know a number of the ruggers. and in some strange ways, i feel some affinity for them.

i watched them play. i watched them fight. i felt their willpower straining against the onslaught of their opponents especially when their opponents were going for the second try. with every ounce of strength, courage and sheer grit and determination, our ruggers managed to hold their opponents off long enough such that by the time their opponents scored the second try, there was little time left. we then managed to hold on long enough to win the game.

were they cocky with the win? yes they were. but they were quick to check themselves. they were disciplined. and on the bus with back to college. i felt their passion, their camaraderie with one another, their spirit. they are a good team, not because they play the game extremely well, but because of the strength of character of the individuals in the team as well as of the team as a whole.

the experiences and lessons of being in that rugby team would stand them in very good stead later on in life.

watching them fight the way they did, and knowing how they have fought to get where they are has touched and inspired me.

thanks boys.

Cougars, fight on.

ToFU

according to my friend, tofu stands for:
TOo Fucked Up

that's why i love my friends. :)

Illusions at the reservoir

i was at the reservoir just now. the columns of light make the buildings on the opposite shore seem as if they are built on stilts.

as i left the reservoir, i recalled the following:

一切有为法，
如梦幻泡影，
如露亦如电，
当做如是观。

If we hold on together

Another song which i used to love that i've recently 'rediscovered' (thanks to a camp that i went to) is the Land Before Time song:
If we hold on together
Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay
If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

i think that the lyrics are very poetic and meaningful.

Shakespeare in Love

on my way home, in the cab, i heard a song which i have not heard for a very very long time. it reminded me of a period of my NS before i disrupted for studies. the song was very popular then and for some reason, i remember hearing a lot of it while queing up for food.

hearing the song again brought back not just memories. but also feelings. of regret, of nostalgia, of pride, of anticipation, of fear. the song that i heard on the cab back home was "Shakespeare in Love" by Layla Kaylif.

He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A sinister romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see
Teachin' torches to burn bright
She's hanging on the cheek of night
A snowy dove trooping with crows
He never saw true beauty till tonight

CHORUS:She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it

So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A glittery romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see
His bounty's boundless like the sea
His love is endless, just as deep
The more he gives the more he has
`Cause both of them are truly infinite

CHORUS:She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it

So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love
That's Shakespeare in love

A sinister romantic
He's on his knees before he's on his feet

CHORUS:She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it

She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love
That's Shakespeare in love
That's Shakespeare in love
That's Shakespeare in love

something about the song, perhaps the tune, perhaps the lyrics, perhaps the emotional state that i am in now because of the things that have happened in the last few days/weeks, still very much resonates with me.

Stupid example

to the person who commented on my post "Are you tofu?". pity that you did not leave your name. (just out of curiousity, why didn't you? you could have left your name in any part of the comment. were you afraid that i might take action against you if you did leave your name? or that your friends might chide you for seemingly side with me in some ways?) i thought that your comment really demonstrated much maturity and showed that you are someone who can be rational and offer views in an intelligent and appropriate manner that would add value to the discussion.

i will, if i get a chance, speak to the student who blogged about P. and i will call him stupid into his face. because that is what he was when he blogged about P in the way he did. but i will also tell him that he does have a certain amount of courage and idealism which if harnessed in the right ways and coupled with certain skills would make him a formidable change-maker who would achieve much good for whichever community he chooses to fight for.

so. the student who blogged about P in the way he did is stupid. if he remains the way he is, he would be another Chee Soon Juan. courageous, but completely incapable of bringing about any positive change (some would argue that Chee is making it harder for the change he so desires to happen). but he need not remain stupid the rest of his life. i am sure he would improve after this incident. i hope that the student would keep the spirit behind what he did, but learn to do things differently, more intelligently and with more wisdom. then not only would he not be stupid, he would be a shining example for many of us.

Choosing Battles

while writing the last post... i got reminded of something. someone told me once that one should choose one's battles. the reality is, in her opinion, that you do not waste your time going against the institution that is PAP. you go against specific things that you want to change.

to a great extent, i agree with her. and so i think Chee Soon Juan is stupid for trying to take on the behemoth that is PAP. but at least he has the courage to stand true to his believes despite the hell that PAP puts him through. in that pervese way, i think Chee deserves respect.

someone else i know, is a lot more subtle in the way he takes on the institution. some might say that this other person is more of a coward. but at least his way of doing things does get things done, does make changes happen. it's about reconciling seemingly opposing demands between what he thinks is best for the nation and what the institution that is the government think is best for the nation. and he does it in a manner where the other party feels that if he does what you want him to do, it ends up being best for everyone all round. it is a skill that i am only beginning to learn.

Are you tofu?

to the people who commented on my last post. i have no respect for people who comment anonymously. you are cowards to hide behind the facade of anonymity.

to the person who called me a fucker. my entry was not specifically about the case. it is about the attitude demonstrated by the student which i think is becoming increasingly prevalent amongst the younger proportion of the population. that being the case, then the case is far from over.

further, i know that not everyone likes me. and i don't care. i just need to get my job done. and i bet i have a far better life than you. a much more fulfilled and purposeful life.

finally, if that is all you can say, then you are pretty brainless. then you can stop wasting your time reading my blog because your miniscule brain capacity would not be able to begin to comprehend the depths of what i am saying. however, if you are capable of thinking clearly and putting forth lucid and coherent arguments and feasible suggestions, you are free to come and look for me anytime for an open discussion.

to the person who was a fellow camper. i will not apologise. the student is stupid. let's call a spade a spade. the P was crude. he knows that. he calls himself that. the reason why the student apologise was not because the P was not crude, but because the student made statements about the P that cannot be backed up. that is called slander. so. if the student can prove that he was not stupid, then i will apologise. however, by virtue of the fact that the student had already apologised, it means that even the student himself felt that what he did was wrong, i.e. stupid. so even the student accepts his own stupidity, albeit perhaps not in as many words. so if that is the case, why should i apologise for making a statement that i can back up and justify? of course, the student could have apologised because, for some reasons, he felt... intimidated (for want of better words). in that case, he is not only stupid for vacillating, but also a coward for not standing firm for what he believes in. don't you think so?

about calling the student stupid behind his back... i would call him stupid into his face. and then i would tell him what he could have done. i don't not disagree that his intentions were laudable. but he was fighting the wrong battle. worse. in completely the wrong way. i.e. he was being stupid.

out of curiousity, what do you mean 'underhanded'? the point of my blog was not to scold the student. it was to highlight the stupidity of the thing he did. sure. he might have the bravado to comment vehemently online. but has he spent time to think about what he wrote? to dig deeper? did he have the tenacity to find out more? did he tried to think of solutions to the problems which led to the P lashing out? should that not be his priority? to find the root of the problem? or was he so stupid to think that the root of the problem was the P? while i write on my blog about what i perceive as the problem of which the student's blog was a symptom of, i am also suggesting what i feel is the way to solve it. my method may not be right. it might be stupid. but at least i am doing something. you are free to comment on my actions. but offer alternatives that are reasonable and convince me why your alternatives are better. i don't even mind personal attacks so long as you can offer constructive feedback that you can justify. because i am willing to accept that i am wrong, that there is a better method out there.

thus, what i mean by 'softness' is not just about whether you dare to shout, whine, complain and grumble loudly. it is whether you are willing to go through the rigorous demands of thinking, of analysis, then the far tougher task of taking action and bearing the consequences of your actions, accepting critcisms, holding true to your believes when you know you are right, despite the criticisms, and having the humility of changing when you realise that you are wrong because of the criticisms. that is what i think is true toughness. not just complaining and grumbling loudly.

do i practise what i preached? yes. have i made the same mistakes that student made? hell yes. i have emailed Ministries, submitted papers to various departments of the Civil Service, written into ST Forum (of my letters, one got printed...), given feedback to P, spoken to Ministers. so. to your question of whether i 'stand up and question the head'. yes. i have and i do. all the time. and now i have added a new dimension of taking action, of doing something.

so. for the 2 of you who posted anonymously. i challenge you to reveal your identities on my blog. so that all who read my blog know who you are. show the world that you are not cowards. i challenge the 2 of you to then come and look for me and talk to me face to face. you can record every bit of our conversations and post it wherever you like. particularly the one who called me a fucker. if you dare to call me that on my blog, i hope you are not that much of a coward not to tell me who you are and then come and look for me, tell me that in person and then be prepared to justify why you call me that. but if you dare not, then you are worse than worthless scum that even slime would avoid.

the other person, my fellow family camper. i some respect for you (if only you had included your name...). for standing up. while i do not agree with most of what you said, i agree with your spirit. your comment was much more balanced with room for discussion and dialogue, showing intelligence and maturity. if you were the one who had blogged about what the P had said, i am sure you would have been a lot more successful in getting your point across and P would have been a lot more receptive. thus, there is all the more reason why i want to engage you in discussion. there is much i would like to learn from you.

so. a little experiment. if the 2 of you don't come and look for me, i shall have more evidence to conclude that my statements about the tofu generation in my last post are valid. if you do, then there is more credibility to your generation. so... are you tofu?

Demolishing the Tofu

some stupid student blogged about some things that my P said to the whole school. P was basically scolding the school about certain things. the language he used was very harsh and certain terms were used quite loosely. so this stupid student, in a fit of self-righteousness, decided to take issue. he blogged about it, saying some nasty things about the P, claiming that the P is stupid, a lousy leader, bad for the school, etc etc

what this student doesn't know is how much the P has done for the school, how much he has transformed the school from one which people know for being horrible to one which is well-known for being an excellent example of all-round education, from one where students don't want to join, to one which students are fighting to gain admission to.

and so, without knowing the background, and purely based on what he sees superficially, he went on to pontificate, to make himself out to be some courageous and righteous crusader. and while he was at that, he did not suggest any ways to solve/address the problems that made P scold the school in the first place. all this stupid student did was whine, complain. "oh you evil Pricinpal. you scolded us with harsh tones. you are lousy, you are horrible."

i hope that this stupid student is not representative of this generation of youth. alas... it might be. it is a generation which loves to challenge authority. nothing inherently wrong with that, but this is also the generation (or at least those that i have seen) who dare not step up to be the authority. they tell you what they think is wrong, refuse to follow you, but refuse to offer solutions, refuse to take responsibility of leadership. they expect things to be handed to them exactly in the way they want it. they do not know the concept of fighting for what they want, they do not know the concept of seeing past the surface, thinking deep and hard. they do not know how to take hard knocks, to get back up after a trashing and continue fighting.

if my generation is soft (and i think we are), the next is far worse. they do not think they are soft. they think that they are damn bloody good when they are nothing but posers and pretenders.

i know i have written about this before, but being a teacher has made me realise the importance of teachers being firm on students. i am thankful that my class is responding to my firmness (to the point of teacher brutality...). i hope that they will end up all the better for it (i firmly believe they would).

i believe in tough love. spare the rod, spoil the child. i believe that we have to be harsh on our young, tear them down, all the horrible things, the lousy habits, the many character flaws that they have. only then can they be built up, molded into the sort of people that society needs, the sort of people who will lead fulfilling lives.

btw, someone called Ally left a comment on my post about Parental Guidance. Ally, do i know you?

Designations

i had a post about my designation at work. regardless of what it is, it's much better than being the person who heads the IT subjects:

Subject Head/Information Technology.
SH/IT

shit.

Parental Guidance

i watched the last episode of season one of Parental Guidance. as far as a Singaporean sitcom goes, i thought it was not bad. i quite liked the accent that they did. reminded me of UK (which recently, i've been thinking a lot of... i miss that place greatly...)

i particularly loved the scene where James (played by Adrian Pang) and Ling (played by... erm... don't know who...) were 'facing off'. Ling was about to go to London, just at the point when they realised that they do have feelings for each other. the tension, the emotions were absolutely brilliantly portrayed. i think Adrian Pang is a fantastic actor (what a waste to be in Mediacorp...) and the person who acted as Ling did a fantastic job too... somehow, something in that scene, because of the way the portrayed it, because of the way the shot just lingered on them for that brief moment, as they stood there in silence.. something about that resonated with me.

partings. i have had problems handling those. and on my way home, i realised that this batch of students that i have would be the only batch of students from this school that i would see through their entire 2 years in JC. it is very likely that i would leave as they leave.

sigh...

一切恩爱会，皆由因缘合，会合有别离，无常难得久。但难得才可贵。眼前的一切因缘都要好好珍惜，尤其是家长。树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不在。

Today's Joke

joke of the class:
me: K, i've been seeing a lot of you the last few days.
K: cher, got meh?
me: yes. i've been having diarrhoea.
K: huh? i don't get it.
other student: he's saying you are shit.
K: shit!
me: precisely.

not exactly what happened. but the essence is there. i'm glad that my student can take my 'friendly' banter...

Godly Influence

apparently, i sounded like God in my previous post... some biblical exhortation of the flock, some evangelical encouragement. perhaps that's what being God is about.... bringing out the best in people... ha... of course, God has more powers at His disposal than i do (thunderbolts to zap those lazier and less obedient ones would help...)

but of course, i am not that egoistical to think that i am, in any way, divine. however, some of my colleagues think that i have a lot more influence than i actually do have. as i have mentioned, i have been called the biggest ah-beng in school, notso much because i am really a gangster, but more because of the way i speak (i.e. very Singlish). apparently, by speaking in that manner, i would bring down the standard of English of the students, because they would all emulate me.

but of course, we know that that is putting the cart before the horse and mixing up cause and effect. i speak the way i do with the students because that's the way that i can connect with them and hence build rapport (much needed to get the things that i have to do done...). and the reason why that way of speaking connects with them is because that's the way they speak to. so, it's because they already speak Singlish that i speak Singlish, not the other way round (i.e. i speak Singlish causing them to do so...).

oh well...

in other news... i've had a bout of gastric flu. and you know what that does to you...

sigh.

finally... to the person, (p) who left that note on one of my previous post "Calling all teachers", thanks for the encouragement. btw, who are you? do i know you?

right. it's late. one more script of SPA and then bed...