Who am I? What am I? Where am I? Where am I headed to? I really don't know. RNFI. Really No F**king Idea. A cynic, an idealist, a person with ideas, but NATO. Am I? I really don't know. RNFI. Really No F**king Idea.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Me according to Kenny Sia

Congratulations rencheng, you are...




Dr Liew of drliew.net


You are such a silly and cartoonish person. You are confident, quick-witted and have a natural sense of humour. Even during the most stressful times, you keep your cool, live by the rules and focus on solving the task at hand. To your friends, you are always that loyal companion standing by their side, cheering them up when they're feeling down. You have virtually no enemies. People simply enjoy having you around.


Which Malaysian Blogger Are You?

Well... I'm not quite sure about what it says here. I guess I shall let the people who know me judge whether what it says above is accurate or not.

Chicken Fashion

So now it is the Great Singapore Sale. And we hear a lot of comments about women shopping for clothes. I do not really understand why women love to shop so much. I am one of those who only buy clothes when I absolutely have to. i.e. when my jeans starts to get hole-y, which they have. So I am going to hopefully get some cheap deals on good pair of genes... i mean jeans. Though I wouldn't mind some gene therapy to make me smarter, better looking, give me sharper features, etc.

Anyways. Speaking of fashion, apparently some idiot of a designer has taken to designing clothes for chickens. Yar, you heard me right. Chickens. In the interview he gave, he said something to the extent of: "We should give chickens their dignity back. We eat them, we eat their eggs, we cloth ourselves in nice clothes, we dress dogs and cats, we should dress chickens too. To give them their dignity back." Now I think that this guy is just being typically WASP. He thinks that everyone (and in this case, everything) must accept what he feels as dignified. But I bet that for the chicken, the best way we can give them their dignity is to leave them alone, give them a wide field for which to graze, comfortable place to roost. I bet that the chickens feel more uncomfortable and silly in what we high and mighty human beings consider to be nice looking dresses. Can you imagine what the hens will say to a rooster in a dress?

"Take that silly thing off for crying out loud! I can't see the sheen of your feathers! How am I to know if you are a good mate if I can't see the sheen of your feathers?"

I think that designer's attitude is symptomatic of all cultural Universalists. We can see that from the way the British colonialists tried to force Christianity and their own British ideals and values down the throats of the Indians, leading to much bloodshed and lost lives in the resulting clash. We can also see it from the way the IMF tried to force Indonesia to adopt "Western" style market liberalisations without due considerations for the specific conditions in the country.

We always think that, just because we are better off and are more powerful, we know best and that hence the people we are trying to help should just listen to us. However, we don't realise that sometimes we need to learn about how the people we are supposedly helping should best be helped and be humble enough to learn that we don't have all the answers. It is a lesson that the IMF and the World Bank is slowly learning. Hopefully America will learn this lesson too (though I doubt that that gun-totting Chimpanzee will actually be intelligent enough to understand this lesson).

But not only do these big organizations have to learn these lessons, in fact, so do we, as individuals. I am personally guilty of thinking that I know best and preaching and pontificating. I have dispensed what I thought to be good advice without due considerations of the other party's feelings and have thus not only not achieved the desired outcomes, but in fact have been counter-productive. I hope that I've learnt my lesson.

Perhaps it is worthwhile to note that: People don't care what you know until they know that you care. And one of the best ways to care is to first seek to understand than to be understood.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Perfect 10

I wanted to go on to the Perfect 10 website and by mistake, I typed perfect10.com instead of perfect10.com.sg

What I saw was quite surprising. You should try it.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Gender Equality

just had to write some stuff after reading this on Garota's blog:
there are many people around who are working for women to have equal rights. they tell us that women are just as capable as men are, that women are not the "weaker" gender. but this cuts both ways. while it means that women should not be disadvantaged when seeking employment and renumerations, or the right to vote, the right to be in top level positions and so on, it also means that they should not be unfairly protected by any legislation.

for example, why is it that it is always the man that must pay maintenance after divorce? what what if the divorce was due to the woman's unfaithfulness? that she was the one who was sleeping around? does the woman have to pay the man any maintenance? no. the law in singapore only provides for women to seek maintenance. why is that so?

and as the quoted article has very rightly pointed out, the Singapore Legal System does not provide for cases where a woman rapes a man, even though that might actually happen. why is that the case? because the woman is deemed to be weaker and hence cannot possibly force a man to do something against his will? at this point, i am reminded of the line in "Indecent Proposal": "Rape is not about sex! It is about power." and women are just as capable of being powerful as men aren't they? so isn't it fair to think that they are just as capable of rape? if that is the case, then why don't we have laws that prosecute women for rape? why is it still that the burden of proof in rape cases is still on the defendant rather than the prosecution?

another example that i've heard, though i've not confirmed. apparently, in singapore, if you are a qualified lifeguard, you have a duty to save a drowning person. this includes performing CPR and all. and this is even if you are not actually working as a lifeguard. so say you are a guy thus trained, but not working as a lifeguard, and you see a girl drowning, you save her, perform CPR. she can then sue you for outrage of modesty. and the burden of proof is on you to show that what you did was absolutely necessary.

and i'm sure that some conniving women will exploit these laws for their own benefit, blackmailing and all.

my main 'gripe' of feminism is that while feminists continue to say that women are just as good as men, they forget that on so many counts, women are just as horrid as men, capable of the same atrocities as men. hence if they seek to have equality, then the certain privileges accorded to them due to their gender should go as well. that then is true equality.

do not get me wrong. i am not a mysoginist. i will still gladly send a girl home if it is late at night, open doors for her, carry her bags if she wants me to, wait for the ladies to start on their meals first, etc. and there are many fine ladies whose company i delight in. what i am against are feminists who clamour for all the rights but none of the responsibilities.

let's accept that there are some areas where men need to be protected, and some areas where women need to be protected. let's be fair in seeking for equality.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Creative Expressions

I've just gotten myself involved in a local media taskforce established by the MDA that aims to look into ways of how local media can help to provide a platform for creative expression for the community and how local media can help to engage the public to create a cohesive society. I am supposed to represent the youths. But I am not that arrogant to think that I can truly represent the youths at this point in time. So please, if you have anything to say about the local media, or if you know friends who do have things to say about the local media, please let me know. You can either post a comment on my blog or email me directly at rench00@gmail.com

Thanks.

Important calls

you know... there are some calls which you just cannot ignore, e.g. those from Nature.

i'm sure all of us have that feeling, when you really have to go but can't. and when you manage to dash into a toilet and just let it all out, the feeling feels terribly good. just like that time when i went to the toilet after a long bus ride home. on the entire ride, i was holding it in. and the moment i got home, i ran to the toilet and let it rip. it was hard and solid. and it felt damn good.

i guess that that's the way it is with life. that when you finally get something that you really want, that you have finally satiated this desire that has been pent up for so long, you feel this sense of tremendous joy. especially if you had to work really hard to get what you want. my theory thus is that the sense of satisfaction derived is proportional to the time and effort put in. and correspondingly, the sense of disappointment is also proportional to the amount of time and effort put in.

expectations. it's all about expecations. what then do i expect to achieve with what i'm doing? say, what am i hoping to achieve with my blogging? to let my friends keep up to speed with my life? perhaps. i had a greater motivation for writing a while ago. but that no longer exists. i suppose that explains why i do not have 3 posts a day anymore, despite actually having more time.

Lisa has just decided to stop blogging. i wonder whether i shall one day come to that same conclusion that i should stop blogging.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Where do you stay?

Imagine the following conversation:
Guy: "Excuse me, where do you stay?"

Girl: "Kaypoh."

Guy: "Er, sorry?"

Girl: "Kaypoh!!!"

Guy: "Okok, I get the idea. Don't need to shout."

And the poor guy backs off, thinking that he must have offended the girl. But the thing is... there really is a Kay Poh Road in Singapore.

Anyways, I'm glad that ST published my letter. I hope that it would get some young people out there to start doing something rather than just complain that the government doesn't allow them to do anything.

And I had my first radio interview today. It was about Shine. So I had to wake up at the ungodly hour of 5:30 am to make it to Mediacorp studios. It was a pretty interesting experience in all.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Dear Editor

i sent the following to ST. not sure whether they'll print it in the forums.

I refer to Mr Koh Jie Kai’s letter, “Be more tolerant of youths’ differing views” (ST, June 13). I am heartened whenever I read such letters. It demonstrates that there are still young people in Singapore who care enough to speak up. I agree that “a young country that is made up of immigrants of disparate origins… cannot rely on mere dollars and cents to keep its best and brightest.” I believe that in order to convince our most talented to stay and contribute, we have to win their hearts.

I also believe that what we build, we love. So my suggestion is that the government should engage the youths directly in building our nation. But this process of engagement has to be a two-way street.

Youths should not just continue clamouring and waiting for the government to engage us. We should not just wait for the government to be more tolerant views. Instead, It should be about us youths going out to engage the government, about us youths going out to be engaged in the community, it should be about us youths being so passionate about a cause that we are willing to give our lives to it, come hail or high water.

It goes beyond just having a point of view, it is about taking action, stepping out of our own comfort zones and getting our hands dirty working for what we believe in. If we do not agree with the current ideals of Singapore, then, rather than sit around in kopitiams complaining and planning migration, should we not take it upon ourselves to create new ideals, regardless of whether the government allows it or not?

Having said that, we should be aware that while we might be more energetic, have more passion and have novel points of view, there are a lot of things that we do not know. We should thus be humble enough to take advice and to learn.

And one lesson that is worth learning is to take ‘no’ for an answer and not be disillusioned. I was involved in the MCYS Youth Workgroups that Mr Koh mentioned in his letter. I discovered that the government has to tend to many differing demands from the people. Some of these demands are mutually exclusive. It is impossible for the government to accede to every single request, to take in every single view. As such, it is not surprising that the government did not accept every single recommendation that we put up.

However, that is not to say that we get disillusioned the moment the government rejects our views. Rather, we should re-think what we want to do, fit it within the constraints, the context of Singapore and continue to work to make our ideals reality. Because if we really do believe in our ideals, that achieving these ideals are for the greater good of our Singapore and our fellow Singaporeans, then perhaps we should not let anything, not our education, not our careers, not even our government stand in our way of making our ideals reality.

Express Delivery

apparently there are companies around to deliver condoms to people who are too shy to buy them over the counter. can you imagine their tagline?

"Delivered to you before you come, or your money back."

and why would any guy be so squemish about buying condoms over the counter? shouldn't he be damn proud instead?

"Yah... I'm getting some action tonight. Why? You jealous arh?"

Friday, June 10, 2005

Read!

i went for this book discussion thing. it was an activity organised under the Read! Singapore project. the book we discussed was one called Tangerine by Colin Cheong. in and upon itself, the book didn't have much depth. but as usual, i would not pass up an opportunity for a talk fest :)

whenever i get into a discussion, it is not so much that i want to push my opinions on another person, but to engage the other person in assisting me to sharpen my thoughts, to look at issues from new perspectives. and true enough, that is what happened. here are some of the thoughts arising from the book discussion:

i think one of the recurring themes that i've been thinking about lately is the inability of modern singaporeans to connect with one another on a personal, human level. i've already written about how we digitise individuals (and by extrapolation, life in general...) in my blog. and i believe that that is symptomatic of a deeper problem of our emotional isolation. we are cloistered in our own little flourescent lit pigeon holes, building walls around our hearts. if we can't even connect with each other, with our 'friends', our neighbours, our family members, how can we possibly expect to connect with something as nebulous a concept as our nation?

Aslam mentioned something about survival. that up till now, our nation has been doing a very good job of surviving. and at that moment, i realised that surviving doesn't equate to living. there are people who survive without having ever truly lived.

Liesel mentioned that the issue that Nick (the main character in the book) faced is something that is perhaps rather common amongst the younger people in Singapore: that we work so hard, fighting and struggling, but never really getting what we want. the immediate question that came to mind was whether we actually know what we want. perhaps that is the reason why we are so frustrated, that after fighting so hard, struggling so much, and after we finally achieve all our material comforts, we realise that we aren't satisfied, that perhaps that that is not really all that we want. that perhaps there is more. and this is what i mean when i say that perhaps living is not merely surviving. it's when we realise what we truly want in live and going all out for it. even if that means threatening our survival.

and at that moment, after i thought about that, i realised why my parents can be so happy pursuing merely material gains. because they aren't pursuing those material gains for themselves, but for my brother and me. they have dedicated their entire lives to making our lives better than theirs. and it is the parental love that they have for us that drives them, that has transformed an otherwise base pursuit for material gain into something noble, something sublime, turning their fight for survival into a beautiful journey of true living.

this is actually a theme that is very evident in Kenshin. Kenshin is this anime that i've been watching. i'm almost through it. the main character, Kenshin, gives up his life as an assasin, vowing to atone for his sins by using his skill to protect those around him. and it is this determination that drives him. but he still struggles with the demon within him. that is until he finds a group of friends whom he loves and whom love him. and it is this bond of friendship, of love that then spurs him to push his limits, that finally delivers him from the demons of his past. it is this love that fuels his desire to live, to never give up.

the anime actually explores a few more other themes. but i shan't go into them just yet. perhaps at a later time. in any case, i think it's a marvellous anime. it actually has some deeper meaning to it. and it is quite aesthetically pleasing (hahahaha... coming from me... most things are aesthetically pleasing...). i would recommend it. though if you watch only one anime in your entire life, it's got to be the Ghost in the Shell movie.

so... what do you live for? who do you live for?

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Ploblems with our Garment

you know how in Singapore, everyone keeps complaining about the "Gahmen"? a friend of mine just pointed out that "Gahmen" actually sounds like "garment" (duh... so blindingly obvious right?). so to the untrained British/American/Ang Moh ear, not used to our mangled form of English, it would appear that our clothes are giving us major grief.

anyways. so i was at a Gahmen slamming session yesterday. it was ostensibly an open forum organised by the FBU for ordinary folks to go in and offer suggestions of how the public service can become more efficient and effective. but as usual, people went with their own personal gripes, "wah... how come Gahmen take so long before I get response for this thing har?", "Gahmen not very flexible leh! I wan to have HDB flat near my Grandma to take care of her, but HDB say must ballot one.", "Gahmen not good leh... give us people a lot of ploblems leh."

for a fact, i know that Jurong East has shops that sell rather good quality garments at reasonable prices. perhaps these people should go there and get a few good pieces of clothing that don't give them 'ploblems'.

another thing that i realised about the session was that there were disproportionately more males than females. i'm not sure whether it was peculiar to that day or whether that is generally the case for such forums. actually, for the few that i've been to, it does seem that the latter is more likely. and if it really is, i wonder why that might be so. is it because males are more perceptive when it comes to social/governance issues and hence have more to say? or is it because the females can't care less and hence would rather spend their time shopping? or perhaps the females realise that you can't really achieve much with these sort of forums and are actually out there doing something about what's wrong, rather than sit around and complain?

some other stuff from that evening:
someone mentioned that civil servants should be more open, more flexible, less risk averse. then someone else mentioned that one way to make the civil service more efficient and effective is to hold civil servants accountable for all mistakes and be punished harshly for any mistakes committed. does anyone spot anything wrong?

see... if we punish harshly for mistakes, then people will only hide behind the rules, following them as closely as possible, they will only become more risk averse, less likely to want to change, to challenge the system, to institute changes, all for fear of making a mistake and being punished. but it is true that people who make mistakes should be punished accordingly. but it should be done in such a way that we do not create a culture where people are just out to cover their asses, protect their territory and consolidate their power. civil servants should never lose sight of the broad strategic intent of the civil service as a whole: to serve the people and country without fear or favour.

someone else also mentioned that most of the opinions raised at the forum that evening were very parochial, taking a rather piecemeal approach to the issue. he suggested that we should take a more holistic approach of treating the root cause of the problem rather than just the symptoms. that drew a lot of flak. it would seem that most people want immediate gratification of having their problems solved. nothing wrong with that, but if it is just only that, then we will always only be firefighting, never really improving, but always jogging on the spot. so, we must not stop at solving the immediate problems, but should look into at the problem from a deeper, broader strategic level.

someone mentioned that civil servants should remember that they deal with people. and thus, while there are rules and regulations, there should be a touch of humanity when applying those rules and regulations. i reckon that that is one of the problems with our society. we have become more mechanical, less human. it's like kubrick's clockwork orange.

to end off, another problem of the Civil Service is the language used. this is from one of the slides of the presentation from the forum:
"Proactively ensure a sustained and effective approach in continuous government regulatory review."

what a mouthful! i'm sure you don't need "continuous", afterall, we already know it's "sustained". and what do they actually mean by "regulatory review"? did they mean "review of regulations"? and is it really necessary to say "government"? i think given the context of the slides, it's hard to think of it as anything but government regulations.

perhaps this might be better:
"to provide a proactive, sustained and effective approach in reviewing regulations"

didn't that make more sense? of course, i'm sure my suggestion isn't the best, but i think it's a lot less clumsy.

and the use of the word "revert" in the civil service. what the hell is up with that? revert what? a dumbass? i think the proper word should be respond.

anyways. i'm sleepy from watching much anime. kenshin just whooped some shishio ass.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Rigidity

So if you are a PR, and you have a Singaporean son, and you are a single parent, alone in Singapore and you happen to be in dire straits (i.e. jobless and all...), there is really no way that you can find any form of assistance for yourself. BUT, there are loads of help available for your son. Now isn't that rather silly? Cos if you can't find a job, can't support yourself, then who is going to take care of your son? The state?

And there are certain gaps in the policies which people inevitably fall into. Because public policies are written on an assumption that society can be nicely partitioned into well ordered segments, either different income groups, different races, different ages, etc. But life isn't so orderly. A person in a certain income group, of a certain race, of a certain age, of a certain situation might just have an unfortunate mix that causes him/her to fall into a gap which is not covered by any public policy, any social assistance schemes. So this person would have to wait till he/she becomes more desperate, when his/her situation becomes more cham, and so fulfill the criteria of social assistance, before the State can intervene. Again, isn't this rather stupid? If we can nip the problem in the bud, prevent it from escalating, why not?

Alas, sometimes civil servants are so rigid in the interpretation of public policies. They go into the details of the policy, losing sight of the broader strategic intent of the policy, which essentially (in this context anyways) is to ensure that all Singaporeans who are willing to help themselves will receive help.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Miserable

If you emerge from that sad place with thoughts of hatred and of wrath against mankind, you are desrving of pity. If you emerge with thoughts of goodwill and of peace, you are more worthy than any of us.

Is thre not something truly evangelical in this delicay which abstains from sermon, from moralizing, from allusions? And is not the truest pity, when a man has a sore point, not to touch it at all?

What an ominous minute is that in which society draws back and consummates the irreparable abondonement of a sentient being?

It is always the same story. These poor living beings, these creatures of God, henceforth without support, without guide, without refuge, wandered away at random, who even knows? Each in his own direction perhaps, and little by little buried themselves in that cold mist which engulfs solitary destinies; gloomy shades into which disappears in succession so many unlucky heads, in the sombre march of the human race.

That is in any case a poor door to escape from misery through which infamy enters.

Can the heart become misshapen and contract incurable deformities and infirmities under the oppression of a disproportionate unhappiness as the vertebral column beneath too low a vault?

Only at intervals, these suddenly come to him, from without and within, an excess of wrath, a surcharge of suffereing, a livid and rapid flash which illuminated his whole soul, and caused to appear abruptly all around him, in fromt, behind, amid the gleams of a frightful light, the hideous precipices and the sombre perspective of his destiny.

Realities full of spectres, phantasmogories full of realities.

The imperturpable tempest obeys only the infinite.

Nature sometimes mingles her effects and her spectacles with our actions with sombre and intelligent appropriateness, as though she desired to make us reflect.

Misfortune does form the education of intelligence.

His brain was going through one of those violet yet perfectly calm moments in which revery is so profound that it absorbs reality.

In that heart where there was a wound, there is now a scar.

"What need have i to know your name? Besides, before you told me, you had one which I knew."

The man opened his eyes in astonishment.

"Really? You knew what I was called?"

"Yes," replied the Bishop, "you are called my Brother."

__________________________________________

I am trying to re-read Les Miserables. The musical just doesn't do the book justice. And the bits above were some of what I think are the more beautiful lines from the front part of the book.

I confess, there were times when I cried reading the book. And it's not that I cried because it was sad or anything, but it was just very touching. Just like the bit when the Bishop first called Valjean brother.

I remember that I read the end of the book on a bus. And I remembered desperately fighting the tears. I ended up tearing anyways.

If you haven't already, take some time out to read the book.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Not Commutative

(Still Constipated. Much Wind...)

if a+b=b+a, then a+b is commutative. but if a+b not equal b+a, then a+b is not commutative

but if a= "I am sorry" and b= "I love you", then a+b definitely not commutative.

imagine after making your loved one angry, saying a+b:
"Dear, I am sorry and I love you." i'm sure you will get much forgiveness.

but if you say b+a:
"Dear... I love you... and I am sorry..." well... it begs the question of what it is exactly that you are sorry about now doesn't it?

Wa... La... Wa... La...

(None. Constipated. Mild rumblings though.)

we were at wala wala the other night. it was brandon and me and some of brandon's closer friends. and we wanted to get some nuts to go with our beer (and half also cos the waitress was quite cute...). so we called the waitress informed her of our request. and waited. and waited... and waited even more.

then amos, i think it was, had to ask, "eh... where are our nuts har?"

and brandon just looked down toward his crotch.

and i just had to quip, "man... i really don't want to eat those..."

and brandon delivered the coup de grace, "i don't want you to eat them either."

and thus began a whole new chain of conversation about nut eating...

i shall leave it up to your imagination.

it was a good night out.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

The Grand Plan

you know how sometimes people have at the start of each of their diary entries the weather for the day? that is so boring. I shall have a report on the condition of my shit. Today was watery.

So I told Jeremy about the grand plan. And he suggested that we should get the media to do the same thing. Instead of the weather report, we should have the shit report… of the one most important person in Singapore. can you imagine how it’ll go? Jeremy had a picture of how it’ll be like: today it was rather hard and brittle.... could be the result of constipation....the forecast for the next few days does not seem promising....expecting rock solid performance on his part....