Who am I? What am I? Where am I? Where am I headed to? I really don't know. RNFI. Really No F**king Idea. A cynic, an idealist, a person with ideas, but NATO. Am I? I really don't know. RNFI. Really No F**king Idea.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


there is no greater joy than dragging one's sorry ass into work after a long weekend. the thrill of it all is almost too much to bear. especially since i didn't get much sleep last night. i'm not quite sure why i couldn't sleep either. there were just many voices in my head. one thought chasing after another, unanswered questions that refuse to go away. has anyone of you been in that position before?

and so i got into work. it took every single ounce of determination, every single last shred of what little work ethics i have to get off my bed, out of the house and into work. the first thing i noticed was that the aircon has once again eloped with the refrigerator (if you don't understand what i'm talking about, you are fortunate. but if you really want to find out, you can check out my previous post...). this just will not do. someone has to throw this blardy air-con into a pig's basket and drown it. but the refrigerator can stay. in this illicit relationship of theirs, you can clearly see who's wearing the pants.

gosh. and people are only starting to stream in. i tell you, when the cat's away, the mice come out to play. i wonder how much cheok has lost already. he's the director of this office (remember the Indian Tit bits?) and he's off in Las Vegas, ostensibly for some work, but we all know what he does there... our office euphemistically calls it risk taking. but that's really just taking the piss if anything. in the long run, the house always wins.

man... this post is lame. but it is all i can do to stay awake. and it's only bloody 9!!! i'm in for a long day today. but i really have some work to do today. work which i can't do until joseph gets in.

by the end of this month, i am out of here. i can't wait for that to happen. and then i'll get to laze around, bum for a while. i think i'll go hang out at the pool. or the beach. if i can get people to go to the beach with.

i hope i don't feel this way when i actually start working. it would be so horrid. would i actually enjoy teaching? i had an image of me floundering as a teacher yesterday. it felt horrible. not really because i felt the compunction for ruining the lives of those little buggers, but because i just didn't want to do it. for that moment yesterday, i felt that i really didn't want to work. that i would want to just bum around, chilling, being non-productive... economically that is. i think i was just tired. or perhaps it is because i was afraid that i might come up short in my job that i thus feel that i didn't want to work so that i can avoid the whole prospect of failure altogether.

i have friends who think that i'm driven. i'm not. i'm a bloody slacker. wrong. i think i vascillate. sometimes i am driven sometimes i'm not. it's to do with how well i expect myself to perform in that task. if i think i'll do well, then i'll perform. if not, then i won't. telling about my personality isn't it?

i need food.


Blogger Rambling Alcoholic said...

Bro, wtf were u up doing? Really. With one of Zeus' daughters is it?

4:57 PM


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