Birth, Death and My Dearest Friends

quite a lot of things happened in the week that just passed.

it was my birthday some time last week(a big thank you to all those who called me/sang me b'day song/etc. particularly the one who called me from Sydney. very touched). my students did some extremely sweet things for me, which really touched me. all the more so because they were willing to do all that despite how hard i've been on some of them. it shows that they do understand where i am coming from. it means that they are truly remarkably teachable students. and that they appreciate what i have done, hard and harsh as it might be. for that, i am eternally grateful and touched.

but that's not the most significant thing that happened. most of you would not know that my grandma passed away about a week and a half ago (that meant that i spent my birthday with my family...)

Grandma's passing marked the end of an age. the last vestige that tied the extended family together is now gone. where in the past, we would gather during CNY and Grandma's birthday, now, there will be no more occassions for the family to come together as a whole. while those people that i do care about, i would still keep in touch with. people like my Fifth Aunt's family. however, there are those who, if i had the chance to know them better, i might have liked and counted as my friends.

it is sad that now, even blood ties aren't strong enough to hold people together. i really wonder whether friendships would indeed stand the test of time. the thought that last Thursday might be the last time that i see a lot of my cousins, aunts, etc made me think of the many people that i have came into contact but lost touch with. people who might have become my close friends if only i had allowed them to.

but i do have great friends, great all the more so because they put up with me and accept me despite my failings. for these people, i am grateful. thank you for all the times you have tolerated with my bullshit, with my whims, idiosyncracies, for believing in me when i have stopped believing in myself, for being there for me when i needed you, even when i did not want you. my dear friends, thank you for being you.

so, while i know that it is out of character, i feel that i have to say it... my dearest friends, i love you all.