Yoda Speaks

write this you will. this you will. say that i shall. "that i shall". yoda. can you imagine him in real life. he'll be so hilarious. like a little green monkey high on LSD. jumping, twirling around, with a deadly light sabre in his hand. he could hurt someone with that.

but he's nothing but a green muppet. that still doesn't change the fact that he speaks funny. having said that. the english language is a really weird language. take the word "oversight" for example. it could mean either: 1) an unintentional mistake or 2) supervision. so the person who had oversight of this project had an oversight. i'm confused. and i always thought i was Rencheng.

that was so lame. i have been full of lame jokes recently. ok. more so than before. just the other day, jimmy came in to the office and wondered what happened to the air con (it was quite warm in the office) and i immediately shot out, "it ran away with the refrigerator. if you don't believe me, go check the fridge (we have a fridge in our office, tucked away in a little corner) and you will see that it is still running." jimmy was stunned.

i surprise myself sometimes. i want wanton hor fun. not to be confused with wanton whore fun. the former is delicious, the latter is DELICIOUS. though the latter is more dangerous than that former. unless of course you are the sort who is prone to being choked on wantons.

i wonder whether Yoda ever chokes on food. how would you perform the heimlich (is that how you spell it? my spelling sucks... as does... nvm) manouver (again, don't know how to spell this...) on that small green thing? i wonder whether his physiology similar to ours?

have ever realised though, that most of the aliens in movies are very anthropomorphic? why should aliens even resemble us? why upright? why heads and limbs and all? why can't a sentient being be nothing more than a slimy gooey gunk? or crystalline or something completely unlike what we are familiar with? they should have more imagination.

you can do a lot of things with a vivid imagination. you can take a holiday right where you are, imagining yourself to be in the most splendid of destinations, enjoying whatever it is that you enjoy most, perhaps with the people that you like most. some people do that with the aid of drugs. but if you have a vivid imagination, then you will not need drugs. just sit there and vegetate. perhaps that is what I should be doing.

vegetate. if i were a vegetable. i would be pretty angry with humanity. spray icky stuff on me. never mind. eat me. never mind. must they use my name with such negative connotations? argh.

thankfully, i'm not a vegetable. i am one of those bastard human beings. as a species, we are united in the fact that we are bastards, we march as one, inexorably towards death, towards destruction, towards wanton carnage.

wantons. should i have wanton mee pok today? or wanton... nvm. besides, i'm broke.

gosh. how long have i been rambling for? and i'm supposed to be defending my nation. defending my ass more like it. not that my ass is in any danger. no one here will do anything even if i bent over forwards seductively (not that i want to anyways...). actually, i don't know. can i really be certain? what do i know? i really don't know.